The Random Fights of the Cullens
by liveinthetwilight
Summary: *A Twilight Fanfiction* You can learn all you need to know about this by the title. These fights are random! Please read the Author's Note on the first page if you want to understand more.... Please review!
1. Author's Note

Hey people

**Hey people! Well, without a back-story you'll probably get really confused while reading this. Two of my friends and I pretend to be Bella, Rosalie, and Alice. I, Amy, am Bella; Layla (Alice013) is Alice; Julianna (midnightrose139) is Rosalie. Normally one of us just says something stupid and then we just kick it into vampire mode! We act somewhat like the character. We "create" things that we need and pretend like we're at the Cullen's house, or wherever! Then, after we're done "fighting," I take the email and make it into a complete story by adding more details and fixing typos, verb tenses, or other things that needed to be fixed in it. We normally just email back and forth, or use IM. It's really easy and it doesn't take too long! Each chapter is just going to be one fight that we had.**

**I hope you enjoy! Just email, message, or review if you want us to do anything in one of the chapters. We'd also love it if you could give us any tips or anything! I may end up doing some different versions of it. You know, different versions for different books? Maybe Midnighters or one of the other books that is listed on my profile.**

**Love you guys!!  
Amy, Liveinthetwilight**


	2. Bella vs Rosalie

"Ooo, scary," Rosalie muttered over her somewhat new copy of Breaking Dawn

"Ooo, scary," Rosalie muttered over her somewhat new copy of Breaking Dawn. She started giggling hysterically. It was so out of character for Rose. All of the Cullens were re-reading their own copy of the new book about themselves for about the millionth time. People were so self-centered these days…

"Rose. Come on. Stop using quotes on a multiple times per day basis. It's annoying and un-nerving." Bella pleaded. Rosalie kept doing things like that, repeating her and her husband's lines.

"But I only said it once today, though!" Rosalie looked up from the book at Bella. Bella peered over her own copy of Twilight, glared at her sister-in-law.

"Yes. I really believe that. But I did say that to you _yesterday_, too. This should just be a reminder. But it's okay if you have only said it once today. You just can't say it again." Bella smiled evilly and continued to stare back.

The blonde rolled her eyes. "Wow... Nice evil smile," she fired back sarcastically.

Bella dropped her voice down very low, but she knew Rose would still hear her. "Freak…" The newborn spit her tongue out and blew. Venom splattered on the floor.

Rosalie locked her jaw and shook her head. She growled lowly. The corners of Bell's lips curled up into a smirk that made Rose stop growling.

Rosalie suddenly pounced on Bella, sending them both rolling across the room randomly slapping, jabbing, pulling hair, and screaming at each other. Bella pinned Rosalie to the floor. She leaned her head down lightning fast and bit her arm. She smirked.

"Newborn scars. You have something in common with Jasper, now!"

As if called, Jasper came running down the stairs.

"_We're twins, you idiot!! _Duh!" he bellowed. Surprisingly enough, he did not try to change the mood in the room. It would only make the two fighting vampires even more angered.

Bella sang, "Hi, Jasper!!" She grabbed a pillow from the couch that Rose had been sitting on and threw it at Jazzy's head.

"Hah! You missed!"  
Bella jumped up and punched the two "twins" in the face at the same time. Rosalie staggered backward. After she regained her balance, she pursed her lips and put her hands on her hips.

"Is that even possible?"

"Yeah! Of course!" Bella yelled. She spread her arms out in the air and flailed them around. "Duh!"

While Bella was preoccupied, Rosalie signaled her twin. Both of the blondes attacked the newborn. They pinned her to the hard wood floor.

"AH!!" Bella bit Rosalie and Jazz one after another, as fast as she could. "TAKE THAT!" She swung around her arms and legs in an attempt to fling the twins off of her. The two flew into the air. Rosalie hit her head on the ceiling, while Jasper hit his back on the wall. "Hah!"

Emmett, who probably heard the noise, ran into the room from the kitchen. He was probably still looking for Carlisle's blood supply. He ran towards Bella and body slammed her to the floor.

"_What was that for?!_ Why'd you _do_ that to them?!" he yelled.

"SHE STARTED IT!!" Bella bit every visible part of Emmett's arms and legs. When she stopped biting, she freed her legs and kicked him in the stomach. He flinched back. "You should be lucky it wasn't _somewhere else_!"

"Nuh-uh!" Rosalie objected. "She stuck her tongue out at me! ESME!!"_ She has a bad memory, even for a vampire, _Bella thought.

Edward heard Rose yell, and ran into the room. Bella fake fainted to get his attention. Edward rushed over and supported her.

"What happened?!" There was hysteria in his voice.

"Oh, Edward! It was horrible! She… ATTCACKED ME!"

"Yeah, and "Fun Feelings" over here helped me." Rose motioned towards Jazzy who was sitting in the corner rubbing his arms where Bella had bit him.  
Bella leaned back against Edward, "fainting" again. She put her hand on her forehead dramatically. "Oh! And Emmett helped, too! I'm so hurt!" she cried as she put her hand on Eddie's chest in faux shock. "Do I have missing chunks?!" She looked around her at body.

"Only her brain…" Rose muttered. Bella jerked her head up, ground her teeth together, and growled deeply. She snapped in Rose's general direction.

"Now, Bella, calm down." Edward cooed. "I'm sure they didn't mean to attack you." Bella was taken aback by what her husband had said. She stared at him.

"What are you saying? You can't attack someone _accidentally_!"

Rosalie pulled up her sleeve. "Well, how do you explain _this_?" She pointed to a crescent shaped scar.

"Oops. Was that _me_?" Bella shrugged shyly and giggled.

"Wait a second," the blonde held up her hand, "where's Alice?"

"No idea…" Bella put her hand on her head, deep in thought. "She probably went _shopping_." She shuddered. "Ew."

"Blech," Rose exclaimed as she looked outside where white snow had started falling. "Hey guys…"

"Snow…?" The newborn shivered. "I _hate_ snow."

"Aw. Well, in that case… SNOWBALL FIGHT!" Rose raised her arms as if to say go. She froze. "Or we could freeze giant water balloons and bust them on Edward's head!"

Bella patted the top of Eddie's head. "That could be fun, couldn't it be, Ed?"

Emmett strolled over to where Edward and Bella were standing, swung Edward over his shoulder and walked out the front door. Everyone followed him. Emmett threw Edward into the snow bank, despite his efforts to get Em to put him down.

"HAH!" Emmett yelled and pointed at Edward in the snow. Edward stood up after a moment. "Emmett, you're going to get it, now!!" Bella ran over to where her husband was standing and, to everyone's surprise, dives into the white fluff. She stood up.

"I hate snow, but I'll get in it. WHOA! It's not cold anymore!!"

Carlisle ran out of the house to find his family standing in the snow. "What's going on here?!" Emmett expertly hit him square in the face with a chunk of ice. He wiped off his face. "EMMETT!!"

Bella gasped. "Emmett!" There was a dramatic pause as she stared at Carlisle. "Why didn't I think of that?!" She picked up snow chunks and threw them at the speed of light towards Carlisle's face. Three things happened at once: Esme ran out of the house and stood behind Carlisle as Bella let go of a snowball just as Carlisle dodged the snowball. It hits Esme in the stomach and gets her dress wet.

"OH YOU ARE DEAD NOW!!"

Bella dropped all of the snowballs that she was holding. She held up her arms in confusion. "Why'd you do that? I was just continuing what Emmett started!!"

"Exactly." Rose dunked Bella under the snow.

"AH! EDWARD!!" Bella screamed as snow filled her mouth. Her arms, the only visible thing above the snow, gestured for Edward. He bolted over and pushed Rose out of the way, pulled up a snow-covered Bella.

"Rose! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!" Picking up a chunk of snow, he aimed it at Rose. His wrist made a snapping sound as he threw it.

Bella was on the ground, rolling in the snow as she laughed her head off. "Oh, good one, Ed!!" She picked up one of the snowballs she had dropped and threw it at her new sister. "That one had lots of ice in it!"

"Augh!" yelled Rose as she ran to the nearest tree, jumped up, and ripped a large branch off. She hurled it at Bella and Edward.

"AH!" Bella grabbed Ed's hand and jumped up high. The branch flied behind them and crashed in the brook. Rosalie's eyes followed Bella and Edward as the jumped up in the air.

"Wow," she whispered. "CHEATER!"

Bella smiled a twisted, evil smile as she came back down to the ground. Rosalie made a menacing snarl and stalked her around in a circle. Bella joined in on the dance.

"Come on, Rose. Give it up. Wait," she froze, arms out to her side. "Why are we even fighting? My memory isn't developed enough…"

Alice's yellow Turbo 911 Porsche came hurling up the road leading to the large house. The tiny girl jumped out of the car, arms full of shopping bags. She looked around the yard and saw Rose and Bella, locked eyes, pacing each other in a circle. She stopped dead in her tracks.

"What are you guys doing?! I have new clothes!" She waved the bags around. Bella and Rose both untensed. Rose fell out of formation and stumbled toward Alice, momentarily distracted by the clothes. Bella snorted and walked toward Edward. She grabbed his hand and pulled him to her.

"I hate trying on clothes. Come on. Let's go inside."

"_You_ started this mess," Rose hissed behind Bella.

"See ya. Just enjoy the clothes." Bella waved to Rose, she turned her head and flashed her a small smile just before she walked inside with Edward.

Alice turned to Rose and pulled on her elbow. "Come _on_!! You have to watch me try on my clothes and organize them!!" Rose shifted nervously on her feet.

"Um… I, uh… I'M BUSY!" She bolted into the house; she locked herself in her room, barricading the door with furniture. Not that it would help, though.


End file.
